don’t you hate when you’re driving and the car in front of you is soooo slow but then you pass them and you see that a snail was driving and you’re like “oh that makes sense now”
(Source: psych-facts)
hey do you wanna smoke some weed out of this dorito?
yes
-choking on nothing but air and spit
-asking ‘what?’ and then immediately processing what you said
-making a fool of myself trying to get wild cats to let me pet them
-compensating for hours of procrastination with minutes of panic and superhuman speed
Y'all, do NOT go partying with people that dont care about you. I dont care how fun or lit they are. If you get fucking alcohol poisoning, these people will NOT be here for you. They will leave you for dead. If you’re lucky, they will call the police and leave you out there. I firsthand witnessed two girls leave their friend, who was passed out unconscious and NOT waking up, in someone’s dorm. As they walked away, they laughed about how “she didn’t know her limits” and “we are never drinking with her again. She got us in trouble.”
Shit is real out here and these people do NOT care bruh!!!!!
(Source: democraticsenator)